I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
The things that come out of my body both amaze and disturb me.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Randomize
