im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
