i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You told me you could hear my heartbeat through my penis but your methods were unethical.
Sixty five beats a minute. I stand by that.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
