Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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