so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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