I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
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