So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
