Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I'm both gender and math confused
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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