Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
