Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
