is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
