i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
