Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
My liver is whispering mean things about me to my kidneys. It's a fucking miracle I'm not hungover. Lol
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
