She is in my trunk
All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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