You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
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