Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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