In the future we'll all be gay
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Randomize
