I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
