there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Don't tell me you're on acid again
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
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