you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
