You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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