i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Some dude peed on tonys floor because drunkness
They offered him a bucket as he was peeing and he was like "Nah, I'm good"
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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