Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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