I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
