I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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