I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
THEN YOU WILL NOT GET TO SEE MY TITS TONIGHT OR IN THE NEAR FUTURE YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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