Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
Sorry for talking about super scientific shit so much last night, I know it bugs you sometimes when I don't shut up.
What? You sat on the couch for a solid 2 hours staring at your fingerprints and the only word that came out of your mouth was "how"
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
no drinking for a week
if by week you mean tonight and by no you means yes
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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