Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Are my feet made of real feet?
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
