Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
