I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Things you do not want to hear after sex: I almost lost my gum in your pussy. Really dude, don't share that with me!
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
