I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
Randomize
