I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
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How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
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