u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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