U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I just woke up in his house on his bathroom floor with an IV in my arm.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize
