his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I am mentally ready for anal.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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