I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
Randomize
