rhymes with "ouble enetration"
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
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