And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
