He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I stole a fireplace last night.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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