after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
BRING THE BAGELS
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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