I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
In case you were wondering, yes I did just watch the Katy Perry movie alone on a Saturday night. I'm so alone it makes a noise.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
My kid just put flowers in my hair to make me pretty, then showed my boobs to an entire playground. He's either the best wingman or the worst.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
