good news, i'm not pregnant. bad news, i had sex with ***** last night and i think i'd rather be pregnant
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
He FaceTimed me fucking his new girlfriend. He was wearing a banana costume.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
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