Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
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