Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
