Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
Steaks?
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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