can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Randomize
