No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize