last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
if you go to jail tonight, call call me. i wanna get out of work
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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