Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
