i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
