Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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