Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I love you. Go after that dick
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
