It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
