My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
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