found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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