if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
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