Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
