So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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