uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
hell yes lets make some ravioli
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
I had a dream involving the worlds smallest pony, an asphalt volcano, and jimi hendrix. Never smoking 3 bowls before bed again
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
