You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
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