My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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