She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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